Using What I Have Learned

Throughout this course, I have learned about different types of "isms" and how they develop through the "cycle of socialization." I have reflected on my personal biases and experiences with diversity to analyze how they have formed and how I can change them. I have opened my mind and changed my attitude in order to begin working on my anti-bias skills. I hope that through these learnings it will enable me to make all children and families that I work with feel welcome in my program. I hope to make all children visible in my classroom and feel loved and accepted.

One goal that I have for the early childhood field is to join a local group that is working on a diversity and equity issue in your community. If all early childhood professionals worked together in their communities it would make a large change across the nation.

I would like to thank my classmates, my co-workers, my husband, and Dr. Sylvia Klein, my instructor for helping me along this anti-bias journey.

A New Outlook

A new outlook is needed.

All children need to be seen.
To learn empathy and forgiveness.
To be accepted and respected.
To be noticed and visible.
To ask questions and receive answers.
To be loved.

If only we could capture every teachable moment.
If only all parents and teachers knew acceptance.
If only all children were respected.
If only all children received an equal education and opportunity.

Why can't we?
Why can't they?
Why can't you?

If only we had a new outlook on the future.

Noticing Differences Everywhere We Go

Young children are brutally honest to a fault. They will tell you if you have bad breath or your hair looks awry; they lack the tactfulness and sensitiveness that develops overtime. In terms of diversity they notice when people look different and they often comment on it (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). "They use these observations to construct their self-identity and their concepts about others" (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 12). The open and hidden messages that they receive from others around them shape their views on these differences and similarities (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010).

I can recall many times when my daughter would comment on the way strangers looked when we were at the grocery store or running errands around town. The most recent incident took place in line at the grocery store. My daughter commented that the woman behind us was "fat." I quietly told her that it wasn't very nice to say that someone was fat and hoped that the woman didn't hear her. Without realizing it, I may have sent her an unintended message with my response. By silencing her and reprimanding her I sent her the message that being of a larger size is not ideal. How do I know if the woman was happy with her weight or not?

If I were to respond in a more supportive, anti-bias manner I could have explained that everyone has a different body type and just because someone is larger doesn't mean that it is fat. There bones and muscles could be larger as well. I do not remember what the woman looked like, I think I just tried to ignore the whole thing because it was a little uncomfortable and embarrassing. We are taught to try not to notice differences in others and especially not point them out, but by ignoring them we may be sending the message that different is bad.

Reference:

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

This week I explored the topic of gender and sexual orientation and how it relates to the early childhood field. I learned that beliefs about homophobia restrict people from allowing children to explore gender roles freely (Laureate Education, n.d.). I had a class discussion with a group of high school students learning about preschool growth and development on how young children learn gender roles. Often families have very different views about what is acceptable behavior for a girl and what is acceptable behavior for a boy. Students shared stories of family members making comments about boys not playing with baby dolls or wearing dresses because they don't want them to "turn out gay." This discussion reinforced my learnings from this week. Everyone in class was familiar with the common stereotypes, but what do we do about them? The first step is becoming aware of how our everyday comments and behavior influence a young child's gender identity.

 Children are influenced strongly by the people closest to them, but also by society- movies, books, television, toys, etc. Children are bombarded with the media, and gender roles become quite apparent when you look for them. Clothing, hairstyles, and toys are all examples of how we pass on gender stereotypes. If you walk down the toy aisles in a department store the princesses, dolls, barbies, and anything pink and purple is in one aisle. Then in another aisle are all the trucks, super heroes, transformers, and dinosaurs. The stores assume that depending on which sex the child is he/she only needs to walk down one aisle. Movies constantly depict the males as strong, intelligent and brave while the females are pretty, weak and need to be rescued. Young children soak it all in. 

As we learned last week, many different family structures exist and whether we believe the family structure is appropriate or not, a child's family plays a crucial role in his/her development. I think bringing books and other visual aides into the early childhood classroom that depict all family types is very important. It is our "duty to help all children develop a positive sense of self, no matter what our personal beliefs are" (Laureate Education, n.d.). Children need to be supported in their identity development and making them visible is a key component in that process (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). 

References:

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Laureate Education (Producer). (n.d.). Start seeing diversity: Gender [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

Laureate Education (Producer). (n.d.). Start seeing diversity: Sexual orientation [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

Thank you

I would like to say thank you to all my colleagues so far in the early childhood studies program at Walden University. It has helped me reach weekly goals, stay focused and try my hardest knowing that you all are out there doing the same thing. It is not easy balancing work, school and family, but knowing that I am not alone helped tremendously. I have learned so much already from reading all your discussion posts and blogs that I am sad that some of us will be parting ways. But I am also happy that we are about to enter into our focused areas. It is hard to believe that soon all the hard work will pay off!

Good luck finishing the program and thank you for all your support and help learning the material.

Saying Good-Bye to a Group

Reflecting on the groups that I have been a part of over the years, I realize that I have met a lot of people and developed friendships with many people that I began working in a group with. Working in a close group involves developing trust and respect for each other. it can be rewarding and challenging at the same time. The more active a role I played in the groups the more difficult it was to say good-bye at the end. The more involved I am, the more devoted and meaningful the experience. Sometimes the groups close after a big event or accomplishment, meeting one more time to reflect on successes and areas for improvement. Sometimes groups just end as the work ends without any pat on the back as a whole, but personal reflection and celebration is still important. For example, I appreciate all of my colleagues in the early childhood studies program but our ending celebrations will probably be with personal family and friends. I am planning to do something special with my family that is relaxing!

The final stage of a group, adjourning, is important for many reasons. It is very important to reflect on your work in order to identify ways to improve int he future and remember to repeat things that worked well. It is also very important to say thank you and appreciate the people you work with.

Handling Conflict

Currently, my husband and I disagree over whether or not to purchase something for our house. My husband wants to have a replica made of a large salmon that he caught in Alaska and hang it in the living room. It would take up most of the space on a very large wall and cost a lot of money. We have discussed the idea several times, but I still think that it would not look good in our house. My husband thinks it would look good, and he would enjoy reminiscing about that time in his career every time he looked at it (he is a fishing guide).

Cooperative strategies for resolving conflict involve pleasing both individuals involved and are beneficial to the relationship (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). A couple cooperative strategies that may work for resolving this conflict are compromise and exploring all options. Compromise would mean both my husband and I giving a little to get a little (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). I understand that my husband wants to save a memory so maybe we can find a solution that we both agree on. In order to find a solution it would help to brainstorm all of the options. "Offering--and potentially negotiating--alternatives is a useful tactic for cooperative conflict management" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 240). Hopefully by exploring options and reaching a compromise, we will end up in a win-win situation--a result that pleases both of us (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

Essentially for compromise to work, both people need to remember to be respectful and open-minded. The 3R's are always important in any conflict.

Has anyone had a similar disagreement with a spouse or significant other? How did you resolve it?

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's.