A Self-Evaluation of Communication

This week I completed three self-assessments concerning my communication skills in regard to the type of listener that I am, my verbal aggressiveness, and my communication anxiety levels. I asked my husband and a student that has been in three different classes that I teach at the high school level and is now my student aide to also complete the self-assessments for me. I was surprised to see that each of us evaluated my communication very similarly. My communication at work rated less aggressive and more confident than my communication at home but overall they were very close to the same. What surprised me the most was the listening style category that I fit into. I was rated a "people-oriented" listener (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse & Seibold, 2009). The results suggest that I mainly focus on the feelings of the people that I communicate with and that although that may play a factor in strengthening relationships it may interfere with accurately judging a situation or a person’s motives (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse & Seibold, 2009). I had never thought about how being focused on another person's emotions might stand in the way of seeing the whole picture clearly. Although I still think that it is very important to be an empathetic listener, I realize now that I need to make sure that I am clearly seeing the rest of the details as well.

This week I gained a few other insights about communication. First, I learned that perception and personal experiences or schemas play such a vital role in the way we communicate and interpret information around us. While completing the discussion assignment, I was surprised to learn that I could have an opinion about so many different things just by looking at a picture of someone. Perception can easily allow biased thoughts to stand in the way of accurate interpretations if we let it (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). Second, I learned about the self-fulfilling prophecy which states that our own predictions of how things will happen lead to behaviors that make those predictions come true (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). For example, "if your friend Josh goes to a party believing that others don't enjoy his company, he is more likely to stand in a corner, not talking to anyone and making no effort to be friendly. Thus, Josh's prophecy is fulfilled: others don't like him" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 51). The self-fulfilling prophecy helps me see how anxiety about a situation may lead to failure and how confidence in a situation may lead to more successful outcomes.


Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: 

Bedford/St. Martin's.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.(2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Making Adjustments to Communication

In order to effectively communicate in multiple settings, one must reflect on the various roles in which he or she identifies with (Vuckovic, 2008). For example, I take on many different roles throughout the day: a mother, a teacher, a wife, a director, and more depending on where I am and who I am communicating with. For each role that ensues, I make adjustments to the way that I communicate. "Communication success depends partially on being cognisant of the roles and identities one embodies at a given time and their influence on behavior" (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 56). When I am communicating with students I try to stay positive and friendly while remaining professional, unbiased and open-minded. I try not to reveal many of my personal views but help my students learn about facts and research in order to develop their own personal views. When I am communicating with friends and family I become much more opinionated and informal in my communication.

Similar adjustments must be made when I am communicating with people from different cultures. For example, when I am communicating with someone who does not speak English as their first language, I tend to repeat myself more, check for understanding more, and sometimes even speak louder. I notice myself doing these things without intentionally meaning to. Another example of communication adjustments is when I am interacting with young children. I tend to speak softer and at a higher pitch in more of a sing-song fashion. I also may be closer in proximity to the child and use more hand gestures.

In order to communicate more effectively with various groups of people it is important to keep an open-mind about other people's perspectives, not make assumptions about other people's beliefs or values, and be a good observer during communication. Try to read the nonverbal cues from the other person and make adjustments to communication as necessary.


Reference:

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

An Experiment with Verbal Communication

This week, the blog assignment was to watch a television show that I was unfamiliar with, first without the sound and then with the sound. I was surprised to see how much I could understand without being able to hear anything. I was able to correctly identify emotions ranging from nervousness and frustration to disgust and grief. I was able to correctly identify the status and type of relationships the characters were involved in as well. Nonverbal communicators such as proximity, touch, body language, facial expressions, and physical actions helped send clear messages in terms of the emotions and feelings involved in each relationship. I found that in very important scenes during the show I could actually read lips to learn about what was happening.

Although I could still understand much about what was going on in the show, I found it a little boring to watch without the sound. I was missing out on the punch lines and the details that make life so interesting. Many of the important elements were lost in translation. Once I watched the same episode with the sound turned on, I was able to read into even more of the nonverbal signals than I was the first time. If I was watching a show that I was familiar with I probably would have been able to make even more accurate interpretations of what was happening the first time I watched.

Overall, I thought this assignment was fun and interesting. I learned how powerful nonverbal communication really is and how quickly one can adapt to life without sound. I also learned that I much prefer to hear people express themselves through words so that I don't have to guess at what they are trying to say.

A Model Communicator

Communication is a process that requires much practice and effort (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). It is a learned skill that some excel at and others continually fail at. Communication can have many purposes including acquiring wants and needs, becoming part of a group, or gaining control of a situation (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). One highly effective communicator that I would like to learn from and acknowledge is a co-worker who is a preschool teacher. She not only expresses love and compassion for children through her daily communication, she constantly opens doors to communication with co-workers, community members and families as well. She is an expert communicator. 

My co-worker maintains a positive attitude and a friendly approachable appearance in every situation. She is an expert at picking up on nonverbal cues from others and responding to those in a loving and accepting manner. Her constant practice with positive guidance techniques with children transfer over to her adult communication interactions as well. She is assertive in her needs and values but she asserts her views in ways that are morally and ethically acceptable. She is always well-intentioned and honest. She uses humor to break tension, and she thinks before she speaks in order to maintain intelligent conversations. The main force behind her communication is that she has a real passions for children that shines through. She genuinely cares about each child's well-being and works to collaborate with others to meet each child's needs. 

Sometimes I ask my co-worker how she would handle a situation because I respect her opinion and would model my own communication behaviors after hers. I think it is important to remember that we can always learn things from each other and that is why collaboration is so important. 

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.